Beef Dripping Part 2

A while ago I posted in this blog about a zine called beef dripping. The issue in question was called the age concern issue and covered loads of funny things about old people and what they get up to.

Quite a few people got back to me and wanted to here more. So here's another rad article.

NEIGHBOURHOOD WITCH

Dame Dillys has cracked down on crime in Rosey Hue by Lyme Hants since the year 1927 when she enrolled as it's first female police officer.

Dillys destroyer Dalrymple made her first arrest in the same year when little tommy tootles stole a farthings worth of pear drops from the Rosey Hue post office confectionary counter. Post arrest she was sent to a tribunal on evidence of gross violence and conduct unbecoming of a police officer and was dealt a severe warning from the local constabulary. Little Tommy, who died later from internal bleeding, was in Dame Dillys words "the worst trouble maker who needed a severe tonic", although the alleged three days of mental torture and extreme beating are no longer strictly acceptable. Dame Dilly fondly remembers the old style of policing: "in my day we didn't put sugar in the medicine, we administered it like an icy blast of divine retribution"

Heedless of her warning Dame Dilly continued on a rampage of senseless violence in the name of the law. In the cosy and crimeless surroundings of Rosey Hue, some villagers doubted the need of such vigorous law inforcement but Dillys' maintained that "there is never enough ointment to stave the flow of scum from the wound"

During the 2nd world war, in the absence of any men in the village, several arrests were made on the charge of prostitution, which many still believe were false accusations caused by Dillys', the bakers wife, was overheard at the harvest festival remarking on the subject. Two weeks hence Joan Simmons was found dazed and naked in a ditch outside the village with two broken legs and a bun stuffed in her mouth. She refused to give evidence.

There was much rejoicing in the village in 1982 when dillys' was elevated to damehood, as it was assumed that she would retire, though some feared she would, in retirement, start a vililgante movement. 26 years later Dame Dillys' bloody regime continues. Although housebound, due to decreased mobility, she continues to monitor "the gubbins that prowl our streets from her upstairs window